We went to Belle Vernon, PA for an absolutely gorgeous Halloween party hosted by Chris Faf and Sarah Carson. Elizabeth and I went as Ryan and Kelly from the Office. I like to imagine this was from the made-up episode “Carson’s Cupcakes” from last season.
Here’s Pj as Larry David. Steve Soboslai took these pictures with a really good camera. His cinematography from the party is nominated for like, 11 awards on the Internet already.
The Lakewood Patch interviewed “Cleveland, I Love You” producer Eric Swinderman yesterday.
http://lakewood-oh.patch.com/articles/another-film-slated-for-production-in-lakewood
First things first, I really like the community news site known as Patch. Can we talk about how completely adorable the word “Patch” is?
The story being shot there is one of my scripts I contributed called “Wingmen”. It’s 95% taking place in a bar, and I’d love to get a lot of my pals out as extras so they can sit around and drink the entire time we film. They can really get WILD. You better believe most of the Juggalohio crew will be a part of this as well! Check out the article if you want to know the surprise ending of my story. It’s totally in there! The article also doesn’t indicate that I wrote it/will be directing it, but I assure it’s true. I haven’t lied about writing/directing a movie since Old Dogs. I’m definitely going to add myself to the Old Dogs IMDB.
Now for some seriously radical Lakewood info: did you know it’s the most densely populated town between New York and Chicago? Did you know I lived there when I was five? Did you know George Herbert Walker Bush was once mayor of Lakewood?* Did you know my friend Matt and I had our iPods stolen out of my car there (at MELT)? Did you know Fede’s bowl got stolen as well? I have conflicting emotions about Lakewood, but I think filming this will make me think it’s just wonderful.
The best AUTUMN ever starts this weekend.
*George Herbert Walker Bush was never the mayor of Lakewood. I was just lyin’.
“Encounter at Raven’s Gate” review by Matt Jurcevich
A sloppy police officer is searching around a smoldering house looking for fires to put out with his handgun. As he is distracted by a bowling trophy, Napoleon from Bill & Ted’s Excellent Adventure snatches his pistol away from him. After a round of elderly Judo, the men start speaking to each other in Australian so I cannot understand them. It’s ok though, I could not possibly care less about whatever it is they are discussing. Elsewhere on this dusty continent is a pile of dead sheep next to a large quantity of delicious looking cheddar cheese. I hope their corpses don’t ruin the dry aged flavor of the cheese.
Now in comes a blonde man that is in scene after scene doing random things that I guess are supposed to make him look rugged and cool, but no matter how good they try to make him look, he is Australian and that automatically makes him not cool. To further prove my point, this guy says thing like, “I love the smell of bacon in the morning, it smells like….why don’t I smell bacon?”.
By day, Blondie works as a laborer on his brother’s depressing crud farm where instead of cash, he is paid in sucker punches. At night he unwinds with his denim-clad girlfriend who’s teeth look like discount potato salad. He hangs out at the pub where his girlfriend serves flat beer. Instead of people playing darts or billiards, the patrons of this pub prefer to project their seething hatred at anyone who doesn’t like football. I assume they mean stupid Aussie football
After 40 minutes of watching this douche nozzle drive around on a tractor with Dwayne Wayne glasses on, I was hoping to finally “encounter” something that resembled entertainment. Suddenly a bolt of lightning engulfs a cottage on the farm. Blondie begins investigating the premises. As I anxiously awaited the sighting of an alien being or something else otherworldly, Blondie finds a couple scary faces peering out of a mound of goop to which he reacts as any good hero would, run away screaming as if bees were stinging him. Did I mention there have been 2 different arguments about water so far? That’s right, WATER.
In the next scene, Blondie’s skanky girlfriend makes someone smash her head into a wall because she is ashamed of dating him. Shortly after that we see Blondie doing some nude sexin’ to his brother’s wife. He is so bad at it that the nearby vegetation starts dying. His brother retaliates by giving him face-noogies with his crotch. After they make peace, together they visit the eerie cottage. Blondie goes to the goopy face room and nothing is there. For some reason their voices change to that of a member of the Lollipop Guild. His brother realizes this is stupid and starts assaulting him again. Blondie runs away like a little girl and boards himself up in the farmhouse with his bro’s wife.
Now this movie is trying to be The Evil Dead only with unlikeable main characters and monsters that look just like people only they are giving you the stink-eye. At this point some of the actors start freaking out while others run away due to having soiled their acting careers by appearing in this movie.
Napoleon shoots a fat guy. Everyone looks off into the distance inquisitively. Maybe they saw the cheese from the beginning. I haven’t a clue what this movie was trying to accomplish. THE END.
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